A shy type away from home, it was at university that I experienced loneliness for the first time in my adult life. Living in student digs on campus, the opportunity to make friends was quite literally on the door step, but it’s a daunting thing to do from scratch. For me, freshers week felt like an endurance test, with so much pressure to prove that I knew how to have fun, and though I did enjoy those carefree nights involving cheap vodka and fancy dress, I often felt a sense of relief when I got back to my room.
From lecture halls to student halls, as well as in pubs and night clubs, I surrounded myself with people. Social butterflying was the thing to do, but the novelty of bonding over the shared pain of a hangover during morning seminars soon wore off. At the end of the first term, I nearly bottled it. Packing my bags for Christmas, I planned to make my break for it, never to return. But with encouragement from my step-dad I hurled myself back into the fray.
It was when I joined the student newspaper that I met my people, and nineteen years later, I still consider three of them my dearest friends. Back then, it was taboo to admit that this exciting transitionary phase of life can actually be quite lonely. I was lucky to find my tribe. As a society, we’re getting better at talking about our mental health, but the truth is, young people are the ones who struggle with loneliness the most.
According to the Office for National Statistics, 16 to 24-year-olds are the loneliest age group in Britain. The World Health Organization reports that young adults and adolescents experience the highest levels of loneliness too. And there’s evidence to suggest smart phones and social media are making things worse. Insert sad face emoji here.
Connected as the generation brought up online may be, almost two thirds of Gen Z admit screen time does them more harm than good. With scrolling and swiping rather than engaging a growing trend, social media is becoming increasingly less social. The algorithm is terrible for self-esteem too. With a feed that feeds you the idea that everyone else is out there living their best life, it’s hard not to feel isolated and left out.
That’s why car shows such as the Festival of the Unexceptional (FOTU) can be such a social lifeline. A scenario where one common interest brings people together, it offers oodles of potential pals. A stranger is a friend you’ve not met yet, especially if you’re admiring their car.
Scientific studies back this theory up. FOTU represents what psychologists refer to as a ‘third place’, that is a real-life setting where people can socialise outside of home and work – away from AI chatbots and online friends. Technology can be useful but closeness in cyberspace can be an illusion, whereas a real community can be found in an external experience like going to FOTU.
A pressure-free safe space where people can be themselves, there’s no right or wrong way to engage. The invitation to participate is open to everyone, whether that involves showing your car, sharing a casual conversation or discovering what makes a winner in the Concours de L’Ordinaire. For somebody feeling a bit lonely, a day out at FOTU might just help.
In answer to a poll I posted in the unofficial FOTU Facebook group, an astonishing 97% said they considered it a friendly event, and as a celebration of underdog motors, it has a disarmingly laid-back vibe. “It’s a very inclusive show,” replied Steve Martin, “… there’s an enthusiastic and friendly crowd waiting to welcome you.” It presents the potential to make friends from all over the world too. “I drove all the way from Portugal in 2023 and loved it,” said one respondent. Another, who travelled from Denmark in 2025, plans to make the journey again this year. If you see me, come and say hello. As humans we are inherently social, and the unifying power of a car show like FOTU taps into that primal need to belong. Gen-Z are digital nomads, struggling to navigate between the virtual and real worlds. Let’s make sure they don’t get lost.
Have you found friendship, purpose or a sense of belonging through cars? Share your experiences with us below.
