Words & Photographs: Alex Wakefield
Anyone who spends a chunk of their lives sitting in a car in modern day Britain may well have had the same fantasy as me; swapping that car for something with tracks, either to drive straight over the jam ahead, or crash through a fence into the open field beyond and continue the journey by the most direct route.
Military vehicles are a common sight on the UK’s roads, with Land Rover Defenders regularly traversing the motorway network, despite their age. Tank carriers, articulated lorries and rugged, drab-green painted trucks stuck firmly in lane one of the motorway, doing important work in the defence of the nation.
Often, those Defenders turn out to be in private ownership. They might have lived a tough life, but the appeal of a one-owner-from-new Land Rover in unstoppable specification is easy to understand, as long as you don’t expect much in the way of luxury.
There are a number of specialist retailers selling military vehicles and equipment in Britain, but only the MOD’s Defence Equipment Sales Authority (DESA) has the power to handle the disposal of materiel (of all types), direct from the UK’s armed forces.
The kind of vehicles we are looking at here are small fry, for DESA. Bearing in mind that their target customer might be another nation’s government, rather than a provincial 4×4 enthusiast, they have C130-J Hercules aircraft and full-scale surface ships currently listed on their welcome page.
There’s a handy PDF brochure for those interested in four-engined transport aeroplanes, but if you want something more down to earth, you’ll have to look at one of the specialist firms who buy from DESA and sell to the general public. These are usually vehicles that have reached the end of their service lives, no longer fit their original brief, or don’t have a place in current military strategy.
The Ministry of Defence’s relationship with Land Rover was famously tested during the conflict which followed 9/11, when the comparatively lightweight platform showed its vulnerability against roadside bombs, snipers and more modern kit fielded by adversaries. Consequently, many were disposed of, finding new homes amongst off-roaders, event organisers and collectors.
By 2030, the Defender 90, 110 & 130 based vehicles will have been moved on completely, with the last Wolf adaptations (actually a distinct design) having fulfilled their role as agile, rugged, fast and flexible support trucks for more than 30 years. If you’re in the market for the ultimate school run assault platform, sit tight. That Brabus G-Class might not look so aggressive in a few years.
Lincolnshire based Witham Specialist Vehicles Ltd offer a much wider range of equipment. The military is a business like any other, and needs panel vans, cars, pick-ups and pretty much anything else you could imagine, in an enormous variety. This outlet offers forklifts, telehandlers, motorcycles and Renault vans alongside helicopters, tugboats, fire appliances and all-wheel-drive flatbeds.
Perhaps surprisingly, the only tanks listed currently, are Cold War relics, offered as restoration projects. The more interesting stuff appears as you scroll through the pages of giant toys offered to customers from their physical location, or via auction. Over near Doncaster, L. Jackson & Co have also been selling ex-MOD and NATO vehicles since 1950. Their site has even more appeal to a more casual observer.
Unimogs, bulldozers, Pinzgauers and armoured Toyota Land Cruisers, all with tempting purchase links are set out like the giant toys they really are. If you’re serious though, and want to take on an Amazon delivery route in challenging territory, the tracked Hagglund BV 206 Pickup Cargo is probably for you. No excuses for being late anymore, but you’ll need to consider sprinkling a bit of grass seed if you clip the verge outside your customer’s home.
If you need parts for these exotic machines, the suppliers will also oblige. Engines, even for specialist vehicles, are usually from familiar manufacturers, but if you need a new motor, transmission, or other components, you can buy them crated or on a pallet from your nearest retailer. Of course, if you’re buying an MOD ambulance, fire appliance or something else more obviously civilian related then getting bits, and receiving service, won’t be an issue.
You’d imagine that the market for 8×8, 25-tonne trucks might be quite niche, but the variety of end users is even more remarkable than the cross-country capabilities of the vehicles themselves. Some will see more military service, or go into commercial use across the globe, but why not take the modern concept of van-life to its ultimate incarnation, and turn one of these into a mobile home, fit for any environment?
Forget about long-wheelbase Peugeot Boxers, or even a Winnebago, if you want to take your tenement on wheels somewhere really scenic, you’ll need to go off-road. You’d want to share the experience with as many people as you could, so a MAN 8×8 expedition vehicle, with eight berths would do the trick. This is the kind of truck employed as a support vehicle on desert raids. Not cheap, but as the specialist retailers have plenty in stock, you’ll get a bulk discount.
Back to those early tank driving fantasies, then. A quick search for tracked vehicles brings me to the site of another specialist, this time Tanks-Alot, where you can first receive training in their range of tanks available to the public for a brilliant day out. Show them your Firearms Certificate, and you can drive away from your red-letter day in a 4.2 litre Jaguar-engined Scorpion Light Tank, with a live 76mm gun. They’ll sell you spares too, but you’re on your own if you want some high explosive rounds to carve a channel through the traffic on the M25.
Do you own a military vehicle? We’d love to hear its story in the comments below.
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